So it’s show day. You’ve been prepared for weeks and got your horse ready to go the night before. You’ve mentally played out the next day’s schedule over a thousand times in your head, so your day should go like clockwork, right?!
Here are 10 show-day catastrophes, in order of appearance you may, or may not be able to relate to;
- You arrive at the yard to find your horse has ripped off his new Lycra vest and is comfortably laying in a pile of poo right on his ‘white bits’. Out comes the bucket and sponge for a quick shampoo before you go but hey, you expected this bit, right?!
- You make it to the trailer, you’re ready to box and your horse has a newfound ‘phobia’ of the trailer he’s loaded into more than say, 100 times!
- So you get to the show after you’ve done battle with your horse only to realise that, after leaving in such a hurry, you’ve forgotten the saddle.
- You’ve traveled home to pick up the saddle, and you’ve already missed your first class – but don’t panic you’re back in time, for your next class that’s now running 2 hours behind.
- You get to the ring, a little sweaty, and attempt a warm-up before your class starts, only to find there are around 25 riders already trying to warm up their horse. The ring consists of the usual Swan Lake ballet bunch looking perfect, a few Section A ponies careering around with young children on board, and the odd working hunter that you daren’t go near as his owner looks like he/she may make you cry…
- You decide to warm up elsewhere before waiting patiently outside the ring for the organisers to announce that your class can not start until ring 4 has finished. This news further winds you up as patience isn’t on the top of your horse’s ‘to do’ list.
- You eventually make it into the ring, your horse continues his upset tantrum by trotting around like John Travolta in Saturday Night Fever. You barely stay on, whilst onlookers gasp and you’re asked to leave the ring.
- You leave the ring, feeling rather deflated, for the horse to instantly calm down and walk back to the box like he’s just run the Badminton Horse Trials cross country course.
- You get back to the box to find someone parked so close to you that you can’t lead your horse around the side, let alone tie him up to un-tack and sponge off.
- In complete dismay, you decide to drive home concluding showing isn’t for you…..until next time!