Your horse may not speak human, but don’t be fooled — he’s an expert at letting you know when you’ve done something wrong. Whether it was the wrong feed, a late visit, or simply existing, horses have an impressive range of ways to express their displeasure.

Here are ten tongue-in-cheek signs that, for reasons known only to him (or her), your horse is definitely not impressed.

NOTE: If your horse is displaying unwanted or aggressive behaviours contact you vet and/or physio

1. He’s suddenly impossible to catch

Most days he’s waiting at the gate. Tonight? He’s positioned himself in the furthest corner of the field and refuses to acknowledge your existence, even when you call his name sweetly.

2. He makes a point of ruining his dinner

He’ll carefully poo in his feed bucket, miss half the water bowl and then look at you as if this was your fault all along.

3. Mounting becomes a full-contact sport

He won’t stand still to get on, and once you’re finally mounted, he’ll ensure you’re back on the floor just as quickly — purely to make a point.

4. The new rug doesn’t last long

Especially if it was expensive. Bonus points if he manages to tear it within 24 hours and in a way that can’t possibly be repaired.

5. He humiliates you in front of witnesses

Snapping lead ropes, fidgeting, pulling faces and generally being difficult — preferably while your friends watch on, nodding knowingly.

6. Leading becomes a negotiation

He’ll trail behind you on the way to the stable, stopping dead at the slightest distraction and planting his feet as though he’s suddenly developed stallion-level confidence.

7. He withdraws all affection

No cuddles. No brushing. No quality stable time. He’ll stand there making it very clear that physical contact is absolutely not on the agenda today.

8. He acts like a different horse when others are around

He’s all smiles and charm with his stable mates. The moment you enter the yard, however, he behaves as though you’ve personally wronged him beyond repair.

9. Catching him becomes impossible

You won’t be able to catch him in the field at all — which, to be fair, may feel fairly standard in summer, but today it’s definitely personal.

10. He finds the biggest puddle available

Just before you go to get him, he’ll roll enthusiastically in the largest muddy puddle he can find. Not only is he now filthy, but he’s also wet — because why not?

Still wondering what you did wrong?

Don’t worry — you probably never will. Horses have an impressive memory for perceived injustices and very little interest in explaining them.

We wouldn’t have it any other way.